Soooo, 2019 is coming to an end and my boy Billy is finishing his kinder journey and will be in school next year 😱. I thought I was going to be okay about that. Turns out, I am not.

Billy is my 3rd babe and to be quite honest, he has been an absolute pain in my ass since the day he was born. Do not get me wrong, I love this kid with every single beat of my heart and every inch of my soul! He is a true gem and has grown up to be the most beautifully natured kid, I really am so proud of my mate.

But I really struggled when I had Billy. He didn’t sleep and when he wasn’t feeding every 1.5-2 hours- he was crying. He was a large baby and ruined my bits like no tomorrow and he would never take a dummy like my first two did or a bottle and would not go to anyone else but his mumma. Billy taught me that every baby really is so different, he was polar opposite to what I was use to. I suffered severe anxiety and a touch of post natal depression but fortunately, with amazing support, acupuncture and a psychologist, we got through.

Now that he is older and getting ready to start school, I feel that time has crept up really fast on me and I feel an enormous amount of guilt and regret. I feel that due to our rough beginning, I may have wished our time together away a bit. All those nights of no sleep and every meltdown, I would look to the future and couldn’t wait for him to be at school or for him to be bigger and things to be better.
Shit. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’m going to miss him so much!!!!

My billy boy is so smart, so clever, so determined, so loving and kind. I’m just so sad that our time of being his number one is nearly up and as he enters the big wide world, I’ll be left behind.

Motherhood is so tough, but please don’t wish the time away, they are only so little for so long. Enjoy them now, soak it all in, because one day you’ll wish they needed you, just like they did back then (okay maybe not the 1.5 hour feeds and so forth but you get my point!? 🤪)

Taz x

Ps. Above is a photo of billy trying to stick up his rude finger as he thought it was just like a peace sign, he knows now. 😂😂✌🏼🖕🏼